Sunday, August 30, 2009
quite the day
you know one of those days when you get up early in the morning and something bad happens, and you KNOW that the entire day is going to be shit? well, let me tell you about mine! :D
good old sunday.
0900: i wake up with a baaad tummy ache, and stay in bed twisting and turning.
0930: i get out of bed, go to the washroom for my morning shower, only to discover three big, fresh, new pimples. hurray!
1130: after being emo all morning about it, i finally get ready and go out to meet my friend at noon.
1150: i arrive at our meeting place! it feels good to be early :D
1200: meeting time! she should be here any minute now.
1215: i call her, but no one picks up, so i assume she has left the house.
1230: she calls me! and informs me that she had just woken up. i assure her that it's okay and proceed to kill time.
1330: she arrives! only 1.5 hours late. we go to the restaurant and have lunch while deciding on what to do next.
1430: my realtor calls me and informs me that he will be bringing clients over to look at our house (for sale) at 4pm. i apologize to my friend and start heading home to clean my room.
1440: i board the new Canada Line which surprisingly happens to be very crowded. i stand by the door near two guys.
and here comes the ridiculous part! the guys kept trying to talk to me, but i ignored them and looked the other way. maybe that wasn't a very smart move because then, the guy closer to me started trying to get my attention by grabbing and touching my leg. then i turned and looked at him with a 'wtf?!' face, and he looked straight back at me while smiling and nodding with a 'yeeeeeeah (: ' face. then i noticed his friend took out a pipe from his backpack and started filling it with weed. WOW. thankfully, my station was only one away so i got off immediately, catching them say "aw damn, she's getting off." wow. i just have to say this didn't leave me a very good impression of the new c-line. but i know i was just unlucky.
1500: i arrive at home and clean my room and double check that the rest of the house is tidy too.
1530: one of my tenants informs me that the realtor is coming, just in case he brings clients over and walks in on me when i'm KO'd on my bed. which did happen before. thank you! you are very kind.
1600: after making sure everything is clean, i leave my house as my realtor arrives. with nowhere to go, i decide to walk up and down the block. knowing my realtor could probably see me, i didn't want to make him nervous, so i walk to my station and sit there for 1.5hours doing nothing instead.
1730: pretty sure they should be gone by this time, i make my way back home. only to realize that i have forgotten my keys inside the house. i phone one of my tenants but she doesn't pick up. wanting to cry and laugh at myself at the same time, i attempt to walk to a nearby park.
1745: after getting lost for a while, i pass by an elementary school (jamieson haha). i sit on the swings while being emo and reflecting on my day.
1900: i finally get in touch with my tenants, and they let me in the house.
1925: i appear offline on msn, and decide to take a nap. pretty damn tired.
2020: i wake up, and notice that my boyfriend is online. i try to message him but no messages go through. i check event log viewer to see that he logged on msn at 1930. right after i went to take a nap. frustrated that i cannot message him on msn, i relog. and he is offline.
that pretty much sums up all the &!#($# events that happened today. wow. it was so ugh for me that it'll be memorable.
and i guess all i really have to say right now is,
FML.
good old sunday.
0900: i wake up with a baaad tummy ache, and stay in bed twisting and turning.
0930: i get out of bed, go to the washroom for my morning shower, only to discover three big, fresh, new pimples. hurray!
1130: after being emo all morning about it, i finally get ready and go out to meet my friend at noon.
1150: i arrive at our meeting place! it feels good to be early :D
1200: meeting time! she should be here any minute now.
1215: i call her, but no one picks up, so i assume she has left the house.
1230: she calls me! and informs me that she had just woken up. i assure her that it's okay and proceed to kill time.
1330: she arrives! only 1.5 hours late. we go to the restaurant and have lunch while deciding on what to do next.
1430: my realtor calls me and informs me that he will be bringing clients over to look at our house (for sale) at 4pm. i apologize to my friend and start heading home to clean my room.
1440: i board the new Canada Line which surprisingly happens to be very crowded. i stand by the door near two guys.
and here comes the ridiculous part! the guys kept trying to talk to me, but i ignored them and looked the other way. maybe that wasn't a very smart move because then, the guy closer to me started trying to get my attention by grabbing and touching my leg. then i turned and looked at him with a 'wtf?!' face, and he looked straight back at me while smiling and nodding with a 'yeeeeeeah (: ' face. then i noticed his friend took out a pipe from his backpack and started filling it with weed. WOW. thankfully, my station was only one away so i got off immediately, catching them say "aw damn, she's getting off." wow. i just have to say this didn't leave me a very good impression of the new c-line. but i know i was just unlucky.
1500: i arrive at home and clean my room and double check that the rest of the house is tidy too.
1530: one of my tenants informs me that the realtor is coming, just in case he brings clients over and walks in on me when i'm KO'd on my bed. which did happen before. thank you! you are very kind.
1600: after making sure everything is clean, i leave my house as my realtor arrives. with nowhere to go, i decide to walk up and down the block. knowing my realtor could probably see me, i didn't want to make him nervous, so i walk to my station and sit there for 1.5hours doing nothing instead.
1730: pretty sure they should be gone by this time, i make my way back home. only to realize that i have forgotten my keys inside the house. i phone one of my tenants but she doesn't pick up. wanting to cry and laugh at myself at the same time, i attempt to walk to a nearby park.
1745: after getting lost for a while, i pass by an elementary school (jamieson haha). i sit on the swings while being emo and reflecting on my day.
1900: i finally get in touch with my tenants, and they let me in the house.
1925: i appear offline on msn, and decide to take a nap. pretty damn tired.
2020: i wake up, and notice that my boyfriend is online. i try to message him but no messages go through. i check event log viewer to see that he logged on msn at 1930. right after i went to take a nap. frustrated that i cannot message him on msn, i relog. and he is offline.
that pretty much sums up all the &!#($# events that happened today. wow. it was so ugh for me that it'll be memorable.
and i guess all i really have to say right now is,
FML.
you leave me sleepless at 9:56 PM
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Friday, August 28, 2009
Dear best friend
To my Queen (of the day),
Over the past year in Japan, being away from Vancouver and everything, I've learned which friends truly care about me, which longed for my return, and which made me feel that i still have a loving home to return to.
i always think that i know you best and i take pride in that. i know that you never know how to defend yourself, and i get so angry when i find out that someone has taken advantage of that and hurt you. then the unreasonable side of me takes over and starts hating on the person who hurt you no matter what the reason is. i always try my best to be there for you, because i believe no one understands you more than i do. i always want to be there to support you. but with that said, maybe you haven't noticed, but it has always been the other way around. you were always there for me helping me in every single way without asking for anything in return, giving me a hand when i trip and fall, supporting me, and giving me the confidence i lack.
thank you for all that you've done for me. thank you for all the years we've had together, and all the amazing years to come!
i love you, and happy 21st birthday, Eugie!
we'll spend all the rest of our birthdays together until we get old and wrinkly! LOL
Love,
Your Slave (of the day. *wink*)
Over the past year in Japan, being away from Vancouver and everything, I've learned which friends truly care about me, which longed for my return, and which made me feel that i still have a loving home to return to.
i always think that i know you best and i take pride in that. i know that you never know how to defend yourself, and i get so angry when i find out that someone has taken advantage of that and hurt you. then the unreasonable side of me takes over and starts hating on the person who hurt you no matter what the reason is. i always try my best to be there for you, because i believe no one understands you more than i do. i always want to be there to support you. but with that said, maybe you haven't noticed, but it has always been the other way around. you were always there for me helping me in every single way without asking for anything in return, giving me a hand when i trip and fall, supporting me, and giving me the confidence i lack.
thank you for all that you've done for me. thank you for all the years we've had together, and all the amazing years to come!
i love you, and happy 21st birthday, Eugie!
we'll spend all the rest of our birthdays together until we get old and wrinkly! LOL
Love,
Your Slave (of the day. *wink*)
you leave me sleepless at 12:04 PM
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Thursday, August 27, 2009
reassuring words.
thank youー
在我最脆弱迷惘的時候
說出了我最想要聽到的話
給了我最大的安慰
i think i know what to do. ♥
在我最脆弱迷惘的時候
說出了我最想要聽到的話
給了我最大的安慰
i think i know what to do. ♥
you leave me sleepless at 3:18 AM
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009
lost direction
i think i've lost myself before i even lost you....
i don't know what i want anymore....
why does it all feel so unfamiliar?
i want to know where i truly belong....
i don't know what i want anymore....
why does it all feel so unfamiliar?
i want to know where i truly belong....
(ty claudie for the song recommendation ♥ )
Keyshia Cole - Fallin' Out
Been sitting thinking about you and I and wondering why we're not getting along
so frustrated 'cause what we had was a happy home.
I don't know what the situation is but I can tell in the way we kiss
we don't talk no more it feels better when I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like there's no getting through to you
like you don't appreciate all that I do.
you gotta show me that you want me to stay
don't turn & walk away
baby I'm slowly fallin' out of love with you
I don't know what to do,
how did we end up here this way?
what are we gonna do?
I'm slowly falling out.. baby
we're tripping on silly things
boy I need you to meet me halfway,
if you want me to be with you..
I remember when, I'd be with my friends
you checked on me and made time to call
but how things have changed? --
now I don't hear from you at all.
Yeah yeah yeah
don't let your pride get in the way,
for something we worked so hard --
don't throw it away
I've been tryna make you see
everything you need is right here with me
you leave me sleepless at 12:41 AM
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Monday, August 24, 2009
i'm just a girl
i hate how i can't control my feelings...
and i also realized that i cannot control my own mind...
i wish i could tell myself to stop thinking about him but i can't...
and it's really scaring me......
you always tell me to appreciate you.. but why do you never appreciate or respect me...?
i remember when we first started dating, you were so busy juggling school and 2 jobs that you rarely had any time for me.. and i remember you always ended classes later than i did, and i would wait that extra 1.5 hours everyday just so i could spend 30 minutes together with you before you rushed off to work... and how you'd always reschedule or cancel our dates, and i would tell you don't worry, it's okay. so then you said, before we started dating, you thought i was childish and that i would definitely complain about how busy you are... but instead, i never did. and i just tried my best to cherish every possible moment we could have together. and you appreciated me back then for my maturity and understanding of your situation and such... but i guess because of that single compliment, i tried to keep up that image by tolerating your actions again and again... i tried to overlook so many things and makes excuses for you so i could move on from each argument to the next...
did you know that i am actually a very demanding girl? did you know that i always feel insecure and that i need a lot of attention? did you know that a simple argument can make me give up and back out of relationships very easily? did you know that i hated changing myself because i believe i deserve to be loved for who i am? of course you didn't know any of those things about me.... because i never showed those sides of me to you. because ever since i found you, i changed...
i don't think i have ever tried so hard to keep a relationship before... i have never been afraid of letting go and moving on. i was always very realistic with my decisions and often based them on a set of pros and cons, consequences and outcomes. yet this time, it feels like... loving you has outweighed everything else. and i believe in you. i know you will never betray me... i trust that you love me... even if it seems like i'm always on the bottom of your priority list.
but i'm selfish... i'm unreasonable... i whine, i cry, i get jealous, and i want your attention... i don't want to be mature, i don't want to be understanding, i don't want to be accepting.... but i kept everything to myself, because i want to keep your love... and i know our time together is too short for any of that childish behaviour.
but i wish you will someday realize what i go through for you,
and realize that i am just a girl....
and i also realized that i cannot control my own mind...
i wish i could tell myself to stop thinking about him but i can't...
and it's really scaring me......
you always tell me to appreciate you.. but why do you never appreciate or respect me...?
i remember when we first started dating, you were so busy juggling school and 2 jobs that you rarely had any time for me.. and i remember you always ended classes later than i did, and i would wait that extra 1.5 hours everyday just so i could spend 30 minutes together with you before you rushed off to work... and how you'd always reschedule or cancel our dates, and i would tell you don't worry, it's okay. so then you said, before we started dating, you thought i was childish and that i would definitely complain about how busy you are... but instead, i never did. and i just tried my best to cherish every possible moment we could have together. and you appreciated me back then for my maturity and understanding of your situation and such... but i guess because of that single compliment, i tried to keep up that image by tolerating your actions again and again... i tried to overlook so many things and makes excuses for you so i could move on from each argument to the next...
did you know that i am actually a very demanding girl? did you know that i always feel insecure and that i need a lot of attention? did you know that a simple argument can make me give up and back out of relationships very easily? did you know that i hated changing myself because i believe i deserve to be loved for who i am? of course you didn't know any of those things about me.... because i never showed those sides of me to you. because ever since i found you, i changed...
i don't think i have ever tried so hard to keep a relationship before... i have never been afraid of letting go and moving on. i was always very realistic with my decisions and often based them on a set of pros and cons, consequences and outcomes. yet this time, it feels like... loving you has outweighed everything else. and i believe in you. i know you will never betray me... i trust that you love me... even if it seems like i'm always on the bottom of your priority list.
but i'm selfish... i'm unreasonable... i whine, i cry, i get jealous, and i want your attention... i don't want to be mature, i don't want to be understanding, i don't want to be accepting.... but i kept everything to myself, because i want to keep your love... and i know our time together is too short for any of that childish behaviour.
but i wish you will someday realize what i go through for you,
and realize that i am just a girl....
you leave me sleepless at 11:43 PM
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Saturday, August 22, 2009
the 23rd of every month.
the 23rd of every month.
NO... it's not what you're thinking of. :P
so it's been 9 months now..
maybe it is because of the amount of time we actually got to spend together that i can barely believe 9 months have past... i know i shouldn't even be talking about this publicly on my blog, but sometimes i just wish you could read my mind and know how i feel and what i'm going through... ughhhh i hate myself. i feel like i'm just being a whiny little bitch trying to get attention and pity. i am. but do i get any credit for realizing it myself? :P so looking in my agenda, i've marked down each and every day we've ever gotten to see each other.. and surprisingly or not, it totals to be under 3 months. and i even remember that most of them were just brief encounters at school before you rushed off to work... why did i even bother counting up the days and why does it matter so much? if we're in love, this kinda stuff shouldn't even matter.. right? i can confidently say that those 90 or so days we spent together were some of the best times i've ever had in my life.... i love how you baby me and treat me like a princess.. i love how you know me so well that you always give me exactly what i want without me having to say it.. i love how you'd make promises to me and surprise me by never breaking any of them no matter how trivial they are. but why were these things only limited to those 90 days we actually got to see each other...? for the rest of the 9 months.. i felt like all i've ever gotten from you were insensitivity and nonchalance... knowing that the easiest way to stay in touch would be using the internet, why do you never go online? but even so, i still didn't give up and made long distance calls to you everyday without fail.. but to my disappointment, you never showed any signs of happiness in your voice upon receiving my call... sometimes, you were even eager to hang up the phone to continue doing whatever you were doing... and i wonder.. am i really that much of a nuisance to you..? if i'm not standing infront of you, does that mean i'm not a part of your life anymore...? and i still can't stop myself from calling you... even though i'd feel lonelier and emptier than ever each time we hang up the phone. but i still trust you.. and i believe you do love me... and i try my best to hang on to this seemingly one-sided relationship...
but sometimes it is just so hard... especially when i feel like i'm the only one who is constantly waiting.. and what is even more cruel is that time goes by exponentially slower for the one who is waiting than the one being waited.. so i've slowly learned to avoid thinking about you and missing you, and to avoid all those things that might remind me of you... and just when i started to think i could put my feelings for you aside for a while... a simple phone call of 15 seconds on the morning of our 9th anniversary can ruin it all and make me break down inside...
why do you do this to me...?
yet, i know i still won't stop loving you...
how i wish i could choose who to fall in love with... then it would be so easy.
sorry for such an emo post :( it doesn't even make much sense. and i know people who read this will roll their eyes and call me stupid :P
maybe it is that time of the month.
or maybe i am just hungry.
happy 9 month anniversary.
NO... it's not what you're thinking of. :P
so it's been 9 months now..
maybe it is because of the amount of time we actually got to spend together that i can barely believe 9 months have past... i know i shouldn't even be talking about this publicly on my blog, but sometimes i just wish you could read my mind and know how i feel and what i'm going through... ughhhh i hate myself. i feel like i'm just being a whiny little bitch trying to get attention and pity. i am. but do i get any credit for realizing it myself? :P so looking in my agenda, i've marked down each and every day we've ever gotten to see each other.. and surprisingly or not, it totals to be under 3 months. and i even remember that most of them were just brief encounters at school before you rushed off to work... why did i even bother counting up the days and why does it matter so much? if we're in love, this kinda stuff shouldn't even matter.. right? i can confidently say that those 90 or so days we spent together were some of the best times i've ever had in my life.... i love how you baby me and treat me like a princess.. i love how you know me so well that you always give me exactly what i want without me having to say it.. i love how you'd make promises to me and surprise me by never breaking any of them no matter how trivial they are. but why were these things only limited to those 90 days we actually got to see each other...? for the rest of the 9 months.. i felt like all i've ever gotten from you were insensitivity and nonchalance... knowing that the easiest way to stay in touch would be using the internet, why do you never go online? but even so, i still didn't give up and made long distance calls to you everyday without fail.. but to my disappointment, you never showed any signs of happiness in your voice upon receiving my call... sometimes, you were even eager to hang up the phone to continue doing whatever you were doing... and i wonder.. am i really that much of a nuisance to you..? if i'm not standing infront of you, does that mean i'm not a part of your life anymore...? and i still can't stop myself from calling you... even though i'd feel lonelier and emptier than ever each time we hang up the phone. but i still trust you.. and i believe you do love me... and i try my best to hang on to this seemingly one-sided relationship...
but sometimes it is just so hard... especially when i feel like i'm the only one who is constantly waiting.. and what is even more cruel is that time goes by exponentially slower for the one who is waiting than the one being waited.. so i've slowly learned to avoid thinking about you and missing you, and to avoid all those things that might remind me of you... and just when i started to think i could put my feelings for you aside for a while... a simple phone call of 15 seconds on the morning of our 9th anniversary can ruin it all and make me break down inside...
why do you do this to me...?
yet, i know i still won't stop loving you...
how i wish i could choose who to fall in love with... then it would be so easy.
sorry for such an emo post :( it doesn't even make much sense. and i know people who read this will roll their eyes and call me stupid :P
maybe it is that time of the month.
or maybe i am just hungry.
you leave me sleepless at 11:40 PM
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Monday, August 10, 2009
it's been a while
hello my long abandoned blog. Q___Q
i just realized that blogging is getting really popular these days. i love reading other ppl's blogs cus you guys all write really interesting stuff, but after being in japan for 1 year my english has deproved drastically and i am not very confident when writing my blog entries Q___Q my english writing was never that good to start with.
in any case, "we" are having a minor argument (or it's only me holding a one-sided grudge) and i am taking a break from posting on my 'other' blog. so im here again :D hello!
speaking of new blogs, patshi has recently created a new blog and is posting like MADDDD! hey! thats just like me when i make a new blog :D but i die off after a week or so. NEEEEEEERO you better keep it up!!!
and speaking of patshi's blog, i was reading all of his long posts the other day, and didn't realize how noisy his blog song was until i finished reading everything. then i said to suzy "OMG NEERO'S BLOG SONG IS SOOOOOO NOISY!!" and suzy was like "HAHAHAHAHA." then i critisized her blog song for going "17 MINUTES 17 MINUTES 17 MINUTES 一直給我 17 MINUTES.." then she 挖舊帳 and said "at least your blog stopped going AJIK DO AJIK DO" =_______= so we came to the conclusion that all blog songs eventually get hated.
so, i also need a NEW SKINNNNN X_____X someone please give me some advice.
after one full year of slacking off and fooling around in japan, i've really started to get worried and nervous about my school work. i seriously feel like i haven't been studying enough and i can't wait to go back tohell UBC to get at least something done. i feel like my life became stagnant once i got to japan. but all in all, i had the time of my life. and it is time to get back on track.
i am such a NO LIFE! today, my friend asked me several times at different hours: "what are you doing?" before noon, my answer was "writing my stupid essay for my scholarship. IN JAPANESE. SAVE MEEEEE... I CAN'T BS ANYMORE." then later on, he asked me again. "i'm lying on my bed forcing my cat to play with me" and later on the same question.. "im on facebook". and again.. "i'm reading fmylife.com HAHAHAHAHA SO FUNNY!" i then started to make a story out of msn default emoticons by giving those animals dialogue. then i was reading people's blogs. then i decided i wanted to try to fry a japanese style sweet eggroll thing, but spilt too much soysauce in the egg mixture so my eggroll turned out brown and salty. then i went back to the computer and started playing sudoku and minesweeper flags and other msn games with suzy until she spontaneously poofed after saying "NITE HO". and then i talked to eugie on msn for a quite a long time. that was probably the most productive thing i did today other than getting my essay done! and since eugie ditched me now, im back to being a no-life.
so i think i'm going to go watch some TV to finish off my unproductive day..........
sidenote: my little rant--- the boy isn't treating me well....... sigh
P.S. i just click [View Blog], and my blog started AJIK DO-ing. FML
i just realized that blogging is getting really popular these days. i love reading other ppl's blogs cus you guys all write really interesting stuff, but after being in japan for 1 year my english has deproved drastically and i am not very confident when writing my blog entries Q___Q my english writing was never that good to start with.
in any case, "we" are having a minor argument (or it's only me holding a one-sided grudge) and i am taking a break from posting on my 'other' blog. so im here again :D hello!
speaking of new blogs, patshi has recently created a new blog and is posting like MADDDD! hey! thats just like me when i make a new blog :D but i die off after a week or so. NEEEEEEERO you better keep it up!!!
and speaking of patshi's blog, i was reading all of his long posts the other day, and didn't realize how noisy his blog song was until i finished reading everything. then i said to suzy "OMG NEERO'S BLOG SONG IS SOOOOOO NOISY!!" and suzy was like "HAHAHAHAHA." then i critisized her blog song for going "17 MINUTES 17 MINUTES 17 MINUTES 一直給我 17 MINUTES.." then she 挖舊帳 and said "at least your blog stopped going AJIK DO AJIK DO" =_______= so we came to the conclusion that all blog songs eventually get hated.
so, i also need a NEW SKINNNNN X_____X someone please give me some advice.
after one full year of slacking off and fooling around in japan, i've really started to get worried and nervous about my school work. i seriously feel like i haven't been studying enough and i can't wait to go back to
i am such a NO LIFE! today, my friend asked me several times at different hours: "what are you doing?" before noon, my answer was "writing my stupid essay for my scholarship. IN JAPANESE. SAVE MEEEEE... I CAN'T BS ANYMORE." then later on, he asked me again. "i'm lying on my bed forcing my cat to play with me" and later on the same question.. "im on facebook". and again.. "i'm reading fmylife.com HAHAHAHAHA SO FUNNY!" i then started to make a story out of msn default emoticons by giving those animals dialogue. then i was reading people's blogs. then i decided i wanted to try to fry a japanese style sweet eggroll thing, but spilt too much soysauce in the egg mixture so my eggroll turned out brown and salty. then i went back to the computer and started playing sudoku and minesweeper flags and other msn games with suzy until she spontaneously poofed after saying "NITE HO". and then i talked to eugie on msn for a quite a long time. that was probably the most productive thing i did today other than getting my essay done! and since eugie ditched me now, im back to being a no-life.
so i think i'm going to go watch some TV to finish off my unproductive day..........
sidenote: my little rant--- the boy isn't treating me well....... sigh
P.S. i just click [View Blog], and my blog started AJIK DO-ing. FML
you leave me sleepless at 5:17 AM
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